for my college fee

It felt like everything was on track. I was finally pursuing my dream as a first-year student at the Institute of Chemical Technology, Mumbai, studying Chemical Engineering. It was supposed to be my time to shine, to make my family proud, to prove that their sacrifices—especially the ones they made to get me into this institution—were all worth it. I had my whole life ahead of me, full of possibilities.

But life has a way of making us realize that nothing is guaranteed.

The first blow came unexpectedly when my grandmother, the woman who had been a constant in my life, fell seriously ill. At first, it seemed like a mild cold, just something that would pass, but then it didn’t. She started feeling weak, coughing non-stop, and losing her appetite. After what felt like an eternity of tests, the diagnosis hit us all like a tidal wave—lung cancer.

I remember the moment my mom told me. It was as if the world stopped for a second. I couldn’t breathe. My grandmother, who had been strong all her life, was now in the fight of her life. We had no choice but to go all in. My parents, who had already stretched every penny for my sister’s wedding, now had to borrow even more for my grandmother’s treatment. The medical bills were brutal—one after another, piling up faster than we could catch our breath.

We had to make hard choices, decisions no family should have to make. And in the process, every penny we had saved for my education slipped through our fingers. The money I had been counting on for tuition was spent, and in the blink of an eye, I saw the future I had dreamed of slipping away.

As the weeks went by, I felt more helpless. I watched my parents juggle their own grief, trying to keep it together for me, and it only made me feel like I was failing them. They were doing everything they could to save my grandmother, but they couldn’t do it alone. And in the midst of this, I felt the crushing weight of my own responsibility—my education, my future, my loan. How could I continue with all this weighing on me?

My grandmother passed away after what seemed like an endless battle with her illness. Her absence left a gaping hole, but the hardest part was yet to come: we were in serious debt. The money that was supposed to carry me through college was gone, and I was left standing at the edge, unsure how to take the next step. How could I face my family, knowing they had already sacrificed everything for me?

There were nights I couldn’t sleep. I’d sit in my room, surrounded by my textbooks, but all I could think about was how much I was losing, how impossible it felt to continue. The weight of guilt was suffocating. I couldn’t ask my parents for help again—they had given up everything for me. And now, it felt like my education was nothing but an additional burden they didn’t deserve.

But after a while, I realized something. I couldn’t give up. I owed it to my family—not just to my parents, but to my grandmother, too. She had always believed in me. She had always encouraged me to keep going, no matter the obstacles. I had to honor that belief, even if it felt impossible to keep going.

So, I started looking for options. Scholarships, part-time jobs, anything I could do to keep my dream alive. It wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t sure where the money would come from, but I knew I couldn’t stop trying. I couldn’t let everything my family had done go to waste. I wasn’t going to let their sacrifices be in vain.

Some days are harder than others. Sometimes, I feel like the world is against me, but I think about how far my family has come. I think about all the hurdles they've jumped to give me a chance, and it pushes me forward. Even though I can’t change what happened, I can keep moving forward. My education isn’t just mine—it’s my family’s dream, too. I owe it to them to keep fighting.

The road ahead is unclear, and I don’t know how it will unfold. But one thing I know for sure: I’m not giving up. No matter how hard it gets, I’ll keep pushing. Because in the end, it's not just about the degree or the job I’ll get afterward—it's about honoring those who believed in me, even when I couldn’t see the way myself.

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